My Child is perfect

She is. Of course yours is not. lol

Okay I'm kidding around, but two of my aquaintances had parent/teacher confrences with their preschoolers teacher today. BOTH girls are very spoiled. I don't know if it is their environment or the child itself, but both girls are having issues with preschool. Following through, staying still at storytime, running off, random crying when they don't get their way. ...

Friend 1: Tried for a VERY long time to have a child. This is her ONLY child and will always be. She just started preschool 2x a week about six months ago. She is very bright, but also sassy, fit throwing, backtalking child. She mostly gets her way since she's the only child and it's fine at home, but I can see this being an issue as 1 child in a 24 child classroom. Her teacher is worried that she will not do well in Kindergarten as she is unable to do her activities required. As I said she is bright, but not a good listener. The mom is all freaked about if it is her fault -> insert TONS o drama here looking for "Oh no, the teacher is dumb your a great mom~!" comments. I think what it boils down to is she isn't made to listen. There is no "punishment" if she doesn't, so why NOT do whatever the heck she wants?

Friend 2: Her little girl is the 2nd child. The older daughter is going to a private school where the mom is REALLY pushing to get her caught up in order to skip to the second grade. Mom is a little OCD and obsessive, but she is a nice lady and I do really like her honest. I just have a different parenting strategy and I eye roll her posts a lot. Sorry, but I do. Anyway both girls were watched by a VERY indulgent grandma until preschool/kindergarten and are spoiled. *Hmm I sense a common theme* In this case I do think it is a case of the teacher and child not connecting. But the way mom will deal with it will get it blown out of proportion and in turn really just make her daughters preschool life more difficult. It would be very easy just to transfer her to a different class.

It is funny because I deal with children like these everyday. Not my aquaintances children, but children like them. I don't really know how to respond. It very well could be the teachers fault, but neither want to put the blame on their OWN child. The child's upbringing, the child's personality, etc. It's all the teachers fault. I find it a bit laughable,but also a bit disapointing because I thought these women were better than "THAT" mom.

"That" mom is the mom whose child is perfect. She never cries, always does what she is asked, knows all her letters, numbers, shapes, and colors, and has for a VERY LONG TIME. Said child would never color on the wall or hit another child. Well that child must have done something to provoke her of course!

I have 3 such kids in my class. Child number 1: Boy, 3 years old, third child of ? whose mother LOVES the baby girl and tolerates the older 3 boys. I can understand where his anger comes from. I don't tolerate his nastiness, but I understand it and reward his good behavior. He is coming around.

Child number 2: Girl, 3 years old, ONLY child of religious folks. They are very concerned about appearance and less so on how her behavior portrays her. She came into my class about six months ago with MAJOR attitude. Miss "I don't have to listen to what you say and if you make me I will cry until I snot and drool and throw up all over myself". Um yeah true story. SHE is getting ironed out and is ALMOST joyful to be around 80 percent of the time.

Child number 3: Girl 4 years old, middle child. ATTENTION HOG. This girl is attached to either me (I don't allow it) or my co-teacher 90 percent of the day. If we have to leave the room to get something she "wants to come too!" With this situation with Gabe over she has stepped up her attention whoredness and cries over EVERY. LITTLE. THING. Her peas touching her salad? Cries. Her bread on top of her green beans? Cries. Her shirt has a TINY bit of water on it and I won't let her change. OH MY GOD end of the world! Excessive drama. If someone else gets the least bit of attention she is right there to say what about me?!?!?!?

Now I post this in background of what I'm about to say. Not all children fit in with all classes. Not all personalities mesh. I don't do drama, crying for no good reason, or outright defiance. Nothing makes me see red faster. In my class I DO listen to what the child has to say if they say it without whining. There are very few rules in our class, but important ones.

1. When the teacher is talking, no one else talks. ( I don't talk to hear myself and our circle time is very short and fun. Talkers are sent to time out mainly because they interupt rudely, fight with another child, or play with the toys behind them. ANY child should be able to at 3-6 years old sit still for 5 minutes and listen. )

2. KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF and be respectful to others. (We have included ALL body parts in this rule. Children were hitting instead of saying "Hey that's mine!" They would just smack him in the head with a truck and that will not do. Also on the playground they would chase, then push and the pushee would get hurt. Constant tattling will wear a person down.)

3. Treat our toys and equiptment respectfully. (Meaning dont't throw stuff across the room, step on doll houses, cut dolls hair etc. Alot of the time I buy alot of things with my meager pay and don't want to see it maliciously damaged. I don't think that's too much to ask.)

4. Naptime is QUIET time. ( They have almost a half hour between lunch and bedtime to use the bathroom, talk quietly with friends, read a book to settle down before they are expected to stay quiet. Anything said after the lights are out, if they are scooting cots around, playing with toys, picking at neighboring cots, asking for water, bathroom, crying over something unecessary. I start with the time outs. They start after nap, after snack for however long the child is doing said issue after being warned. Sounds mean, but it works.) I made this rule after giving the inch and them taking 30 miles route I tried before. Think of bedtime with ONE 3 year old, now multiply that by 24. Yeah doesn't sound so mean now huh? lol


I CANNOT figure out how to say to these women "Maybe your child does not belong there" in a polite manner. Some children do very well in large group environments like ours. I myself prefer a smaller group, but I deal. Many children NEED to be focused on especially if they have been the center of attention all their lives. Smaller classes would do them good. HOME daycare if needed are very nice if you find the right person. Just because a place is accredited doesn't mean it's a right fit for YOUR child. I don't know what to say to my friends to make them feel better. I don't know what to tell them to help them deal with their situation without sounding like a bitch. So I just won't say anything at all. I'll just vent to cyberspace and the zero readers I have right now. lol Thank you cyberspace...